Monday, February 10, 2014

Oh what a difference life can be without hate in my heart!

I am writing this post with good news, there for a while I didn't think I would ever have good news in my life again.  Actually there for a while I really didn't think I deserved to live.  But my journey has became so much brighter. One morning during church I got an overwhelming feeling of peace come over me.  I realized at that moment that I no longer had hate in my heart for Daric's dad.  It was a great feeling.  Even though I will never become friends with him or anything of the such, I no longer stew over what he has put me through. Hate in your heart is so toxic.  It was controlling my life, I couldn't sleep and I constantly thought about all the hurt I had been put through.  I am happy to report that I have been able to sleep through the night for several months, I have been taken off one of my depression medications, and I now only see my therapist once a month and my Psychiatrist every 2 months. Talk about progress!!  I have also been released to work again so I take my CNA written exam this week and will be going to work by the end of the month.  If you would have asked me a year ago if I thought I would be feeling this good I would've said "No, I will never feel better and my life will always suck"  I get to have Daric every other weekend and he contacts me usually on a daily basis. We have a blast when its our weekend to have him and we have been getting along great.  I am actually excited about life again and looking forward to my future.  I do not believe life has fairy tale endings nor do I believe that life will always be happy and easy but for now I will just say stay tuned and to be continued......